What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?
Last Updated: 20.06.2025 10:28
Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!
Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.
Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.
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In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …
TEXT:
Shameless vixen! Trollop!
What are some of your favorite hip hop lyrics?
And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.
Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …
Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!
Do you as a gay male enjoy the feeling of getting a penis in your anus?
¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!
Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!
Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.
Do you suck dicks with no reciprocation?
Make Nazis afraid again!
In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …
Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!
I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.
Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.
Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.
What are the pros and cons of living in Male, Maldives?
And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...
Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?
Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.
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Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.
At least until the peyote kicks in ...
Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.
“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”
Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority
But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!
Have you ever had your crush reject you, and then later you all dated and married?
Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.
Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!
Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)
What did your sister do to you that you can never forget?
Marijuana makes Jesus cry!
After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.
I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.
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Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.